RGR received a comment yesterday that had nothing to do with the guestpost it was left on. However, we felt like we needed to respond, even if no one had seen the comment before we marked it as Spam. These are the kind of words gay men and women often hear and I am glad Adrian can give us a new way to see the words and take away their power.
There’s one thing in life I have never struggled with and that’s being a Christian. I’ve always felt called by God and loved by God. I’ve always been supported in my family even though I’m not “normal.” I’m on the queer spectrum, and I fall in a place that is rarely accepted. I’m bisexual, and yes, I’m also a Christian.
It’s important for me to explain this because I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard things like this comment we received on the RGR blog yesterday.
“We pray that the Lord touch the hearts of those suffering from homosexuality and help them stop their immoral ways. This is a mental health issue to be sure, as evidenced by so much self-hatred among homosexuals. They know deep down that what they are doing is morally wrong. May God bless them and heal them and fill them with the holy spirit through sanctification (a cleansing).”
I’ve also heard it from the other side. Those who are deeply set in the LGBT et al community who cannot fathom that someone is queer and of faith. It’s exactly like being bisexual.
Well, I took it even a step further. Not only am I bisexual, an author of lesbian fiction, but I am an ordained minister. While my denomination does not quite opening ordain or accept LGBT et al into their community on the whole, there are many individual churches who do. It’s a work in progress, which is exactly how I think God sees this world and sees us.
We are all a work in progress. We are all in the midst of creation. Creation is a verb, something continually happening. Even after we die, we are still creating, through children, through friends and family, through anyone who was touched by our lives.
We are all a work in progress. Even those who feel the need to strike out against something they do not believe or understand. We are all part of God’s creation. What I appreciate in this particular comment received is that we were not denied our right of claim in God’s creation. We were not shoved out of God’s house and onto the street. We are kept in, and we are prayed for.
And really, since when have prayers really hurt anyone? So if they want to pray for my sanity, for my realization of my wrongs, for me to stop suffering, to stop my immoral ways, then by all means, let them pray. I’ve certainly been wrong; I’ve definitely suffered and been immoral. I could use the prayers, especially at a time in my life with such turmoil.
“The LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shin on you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26
I can be a Christian. I can trust and have faith that God made me the way I am for a reason. Either because I have the ability to hold my tongue when lashed out against or because I can succinctly put someone in their place when necessary, or simply because I have a deep love of our Creator, one that has never wavered even when I wanted it to.
I can be a bisexual. I can trust and have faith that these feelings I feel are true to my person. That they are what makes me who I am and that I am beautiful in the eyes of my creator and redeemer. I can be in the middle, the one who messes with a binary and who mixes the colors on the palate, simply because I am someone who can take those moments and make them into something new, something good, and something pleasing in the eyes of God.
We all need to be sanctified and cleansed. No one is perfect and no one should be. Only Christ our Savior was granted that right. All we, as Christians and humans, can do is strive to be the best we can be, to keep other’s interests in mind when we speak, and to love the LORD our God with all of our heart, with all of our soul, with all of our strength, and with all of our mind (a paraphrase from Luke 10:27).