Rainbow Gold is happy to give you readers this guest post/character interview from Julia McBryant and her boys Crispin and Wills to celebrate her release of ‘Slow Dance’.
Thanks Julia, Crispin and Wills for joining us today and congratulations on your latest installment of the Southern Seduction Series ‘Slow Dance’.
We’ve gotten Wills Culliver drunk enough to answer our questions. Never underestimate the combined power of liquor and a persuasive blond, even for a gay man.
Interviewer: So Wills, tell us about your boyfriend.
Wills: Uh, his name is Crispin? He’s right here. (Wills kisses him. Hard. Crispin reciprocates and then rolls his eyes).
Crispin: He’s pretty drunk.
Interviewer: It’s more fun that way. So tell us about your summer.
Wills: Uh, we live together? Here in Athens? It’s super fun and some parts were rocky but mostly it’s been awesome. Because we get to live together. And be like, out. (Wills kisses Crispin again. Crispin again reciprocates and eye-rolls).
Interviewer: What’s being out mean to you?
Wills: This. (another Crispin make-out session ensues).
Crispin: I think I need to take him home.
Interviewer: No, this is fun.
Wills: Yeah, this is fun, Crispin.
Interviewer: Okay, let’s get really fun. Top or bottom?
Wills: Switch, girlfriend. Total switch. C’mon. Do either of us look like bottoms to you? We’re fucking six foot two ex-football players. But if you had to guess who would be the bottom …
Interviewer: Definitely you.
Wills: Why me?!
Interviewer: I don’t know. He has bigger biceps.
Crispin: (another eyeroll) Everyone fucking says that.
Interviewer: Favorite position?
Wills: Top or bottom?
Crispin: What the fuck kind of interview is this?
Wills: The fun kind. Bottom, little spoon. Top … hmm. Probably up against the wall. Yeah, up against the wall is good.
Crispin: Christ the carpenter. I’m taking your ass home.
Wills: No. This is getting fun.
Interviewer: Totally gay or bi?
Wills: I once saw this TV show where a guy said girls are like thai food? It’s really good once in awhile but you wouldn’t want to live on it. And I’m not a gigantic pad thai fan. But it’s good once in a blue moon. Now Crispin? No way is Crispin touching a girl. Wanna do a shot?
** shots are taken. Crispin refuses said shot. Wills takes his too, leading to glares. **
Interviewer: So I hear you have a twin, Wills.
Wills: Oh my god. Henry. Yes. I love him to pieces and he’s such a pain in the ass sometimes. Fucks guys and acts like I’m Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boatride. You know, the South Park —
Interviewer: I’m familiar with South Park.
Wills: **sings the Big Gay Al song ** I got Henry back though. I bought this humungous pink flamingo pool float, like the gayest thing ever, and I take it down to the apartment pool and tell everyone my name’s Henry.
Crispin: Oh, that’s bullshit. You just said you were going to do that.
Wills: Yeah, but it’s really fucking funny, isn’t it? I saw that pool float at Target. I fucking love Target.
Crispin: Oh god. Don’t get him talking about Target.
Wills: Target is amazing.
Crispin: I can’t take his ass to Target.
Wills: They have like, everything.
Crispin: He spent $250 bucks there the other day. I don’t even know what the fuck all he bought.
Interviewer: Okay, Wills, no one cares about your Target opinions. So what’s the best part about being out in Athens?
Wills: Oh dude, definitely going out dancing. The other day when we were in the club I was wearing leather pants and Crispin touched my —
Crispin: OKAY we’re done here. Thanks. That was, like, both fun and enlightening. Not really. More like totally mortifying. Bye. Wills, c’mon. You need to sleep this off.
Wills: But —
Crispin: I’ll rub your back.
Wills: Okay. Bye! (Happily lets Crispin lead him out by the wrist).
Julia McBryant lives in the prettiest city in the whole world with her roving nebula of German Shepherds and adopted greyhounds. Southern born, Southern bred, and when she dies, she’ll be Southern dead, Julia loves crafting all the things, especially with gold glitter; horseback riding; looking for fossils on the beach; and hiking in the mountains of North Carolina.