Nick, Very Deeply (8 Million Hearts Book 5) by Spencer Spears #Audiobook #Review #MMRomance #Contemporary

Erryn reviews ‘Nick, Very Deeply (8 Million Hearts Book 5)’ by Spencer Wells. This book was released on December 27, 2018, and is 578 pgs long. The audiobook version of this story was narrated by Michael Fell.  It was released on November 17, 2020, and is 15 hrs and 54 mins long. A copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.

Why I read this book: I really have been wanting to try out this author.

They say soulmates don’t exist. But they’ve never met Nick Sawyer….

Eli: In my defense, I didn’t think I’d see Nick again. If I had, I would never have kissed him.

I got a fake ID because I was bored, not because I planned on meeting anyone. But from the moment I saw Nick – all tall, dark, and librarian-y, with hardcover books falling out of his messenger bag and eyes that made me forget how to breathe – I knew I needed to know him better.

So maybe I told a little white lie about my birthday. And maybe I went into the city again, and again, just so I could run into him. And maybe, on that last morning, I kissed him, because I knew it was good-bye.

Except, turns out, it wasn’t. Whoops.

Only now, I have to spend the rest of the year working with Nick, and it’s clear he wishes we’d never met. He says I have to move on, but the more I get to know him, the more impossible that seems. How do you move on from someone as strong and smart and sweet as Nick? How do you get over the first person who’s told you that you matter?

And what the hell do you do when, out of nowhere, he kisses you again?

“I can’t keep fighting this. I need you. I need us.”

Nick: I tried to keep my distance. I tried to forget that kiss. I tried to remind myself how dangerous it was, just being around Eli. How much I was putting in jeopardy.

I tried…but I never stood a chance.

Eli is everything I’m not. Reckless and wild, where all I’ve ever been is cautious. Open and loving, where I’ve only ever been scared. Willing to take risks, to be vulnerable, to be brave. I want to be brave enough to deserve him.

I know it’s wrong, but before I know it, I’ve fallen for this crazy, beautiful boy and his ocean-blue eyes. Before I know it, I’m kissing him again.

“I’d take it all back if I could.” That’s what I’m supposed to say. But the truth is, I wouldn’t. I would choose Eli every time.

Even if it means losing everything.

Nick, Very Deeply is book five in the 8 Million Hearts series. While each book can be listened to on its own, they’re even more fun to listen together. Nick, Very Deeply is a m/m romance, full of snark, sweetness, and a healthy serving of steam. Teacher/student and hurt/comfort themes with a delicious slow burn. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed HEA.

Buy Links: Audible  | Amazon  | Add to Goodreads 

My Review:

When Love is Forbidden. 

Okay, so this was my first Spencer Spears audio and I promise it will not be the last.  Wow.  Just, wow.

When I say forbidden love, I should be clear.  Teacher/student is always a power imbalance.  Depending on the age of the student, it might also be illegal.  This book skirts that line.  Eli is nineteen – a fairly mature nineteen – but he’s also a high school senior.  For obvious reasons he doesn’t disclose this to Nick, and when Nick is put in a position of responsibility over Eli, he knows it’s wrong.  How Nick acts after this discovery can be seen through several lenses and I leave it up to the reader to decide how they feel about his decision.

But obviously he’s not going to be Eli’s teacher forever and the question is – once the power dynamic dissipates…what then?  Well, this is a sixteen-hour audio, so obviously they get together.  And this is a romance so it has a happy ending.  But it is, to be sure, a struggle to get there.  Eli is a sensitive soul, and that called to me on so many levels.  Misunderstood by his caring but clueless parents, his friends take better care of him.  And when he and Nick connect?  It brings a whole new level of love to his life.

But there are obstacles.  Nick is reluctant to introduce Eli to his friends because of their former association.  And Eli is planning to attend Rencliffe College in Minnesota.  Nick has to stay in New Jersey for heartbreaking reasons.  How’s that supposed to work?  I wondered if the relationship might become long-distance for the time it took Eli to get a degree, but I knew his emotional state would be too fragile for that.  How to overcome the distance?  The differences?  Nick is studying a Master’s of Divinity with an eye toward ordination.  He knows religion is his path, and he’s had many placements, be he hasn’t settled on what a career might look like.  Will he find guidance to lead him to a successful career path?

Finally, this is book 5 in a series and I admit to not having read the previous four.  No worries at all.  Aside from the fact Nick has close friends who obviously had stories of their own, I was never lost.  Never at sea.  This story is truly rooted in Nick and Eli.  In them finding their own happily ever after.  Finding a future that works for both of them.

I want to mention the firs chapter.  It was an hour.  Near the end of it, I’d decided the whole book must be in Eli’s point of view.  Never fear, Nick eventually got his turn.  But wow it took a while to get there.  The structure of the book – with alternating POV chapters – worked, it just took time to settle into that routine.  Just a heads-up.

Did I sigh happily at the end of the epilogue?  I might have.  Will I go back and pick up the other books?  Of that you can have no doubt.  Do I recommend this book?  Yep.  Whole-heartedly.  And finally I’ll mention Michael Fell.  I enjoy his narrations and he hit all the right notes with the performance.  Yes, the book is long, but totally worth the listen.

My Rating:

10/10 Pots of Gold (100% Recommended) – Compares to 5/5 Stars

Website | Facebook | Goodreads

Spencer Spears wants to make you cry–and then make you smile so hard that you forget why you’ve got tears rolling down your cheeks. Spencer writes LGBTQ stories that are snarky, sweet, and break your heart in all the best ways, and he firmly believes that we should all get to write our own happy endings.

When not at the computer, he can be found running, hugging a tree, or curled up with a good book… and probably a cocktail or two. For free books and updates from Spencer, sign up for his newsletter at

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