Marc: “Words Matter!!!” (Blog Hop Against Homophobia And Transphobia with Giveaway)

 

Hi everyone 😉

Today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. A worthy cause in our opinion 🙂 Check out the official site! –> http://dayagainsthomophobia.org/

Since this issue is close to our hearts, we would love to discuss it with you. Any comment on this post will be entered to win one of 5 e-copies of D.t. Peterson’s “The Cove”.

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So we all know about the big fights for recognition. We know how people are discriminated against, suppressed, beaten, imprisoned or killed for their sexual orientation or gender identity. It is rather scary to think about, yet so important never to forget what is happening in the world and why we have to act.  As a gay man myself, it has been amazing to meet so many allies who try to actively change the world into a better and more open-minded place. This is a fight on many fronts, but today I would like to talk about the ‘fight’ at home.

One of my friends recently told me a story and I hope she doesn’t mind if I share it here.

She lives in the deep south of the States and has encountered a lot of discrimination. In her home, however, discrimination has no place. Slowly with every person she meets she spreads a message of love and acceptance and gets people to question their narrow-minded views. Her husband was no exception.

When they met, he had many prejudices that he was taught by his parents and she has been working for many years to make him more open-minded and accepting. I’ve talked to him and he is a sweet and funny man and has promised her to love and accept their son, whomever he chose to someday love. Something she often reminds him of, because it is extremely important to her.

Recently her husband joked about their son always looking at pretty girls and her mother-in-law made a comment about the little guy getting off to a ‘right’ start. My friend could barely hold her tongue.

She told her husband just what she thought of the comment and he “thought I might have been overreacting because I was so mad and it was made in an off-handed comment sort of way. I told him that I never wanted our son to hear that, especially from his family. . . I told him I wanted our son raised ‘right’ and that ‘right’ is treating everyone equally, loving everyone equally. . . I don’t want him to ever hear a person in our family refer to being straight as the ‘right’ way. . . there is no right or wrong when it comes to loving to someone. I told him, I won’t bite my tongue the next time and I only held it because our boy was too young to understand it, but I won’t stand for it again”. 

When she shared this with me to vent, it was that moment I realized she is a super hero.

In a way, the home front is the most important in this fight for equality and acceptance. No child is born hating others just because they have a different skin color, sexual orientation, gender identity or just because they are different in some way. Discrimination is taught! Taught by parents who pass on their own prejudices to their children, taught by so-called men and women of god who use their standing and power in their communities to spread hate and intolerance in the name of god, instead of spreading love and fighting against injustice, war and hate. It is taught by media, children in school or co-workers who treat others in the way they have been taught. A vicious cycle of hate and intolerance. Though, while you are only one person, you CAN make a difference.

The way you raise your children, instilling in them values, showing them a love that is unconditionally, teaching them acceptance, showing them hate and discrimination is wrong, showing them by example to stand up against injustice. The way you influence people you meet, whether you see them every day or have just a fleeting encounter. Keep an open mind and try to overcome your own prejudices. Other people fight their own war and you have no idea what they have lived through, you don’t know their stories, their battles. Everyone deserves respect! But if they act and speak in a hateful and intolerant way, don’t be afraid to stand up to them. Don’t let it go, because it is easier. Challenge their believes, make them think, show others that it is NOT okay to act or speak that way.

Words are not inconsequential! They can cut deeper than a knife and create wounds that slowly fester until they are infected. Think of all those who have been told all their lives that they are worth nothing! That they are wrong, that the world would be a better place without them.  All those people, especially those kids who believed it. Who took their own lives, because the pain those words caused were unbearable to them. Stand up to injustice that happens around you, because others will hear you. If your words just change the mind of one person or give strength to someone who desperately needed someone to stand up for them, because they didn’t have any fight left in them to stand up for themselves – that is worth it. It is so very important.

I’m gay and it took me 20 years to really deal with and accept it. I was very lucky, I have friends and family who support me. Not a single person openly turned their backs on me and if anything it got me closer to many people. But the words I heard around me influenced me, even in my sheltered and mostly liberal environment.

When my mother made an off-hand comment about how weird it was to see two men kiss, that stuck with me. When classmates called each other faggots and teachers didn’t react, – that stuck with me. When men held hands and people snickered or were openly hostile, because of such an innocent sign of love and affection, – that stuck with me. When I want to hold the hand of my boyfriend in public, lean my head on his shoulder in the movie theater, kiss him – and we can’t do that, because the way people act and talk has made him afraid to express his love and affection, because as a lawyer he has to fear how people would react, – that affects me. When our politicians prohibit us the same adoption rights others have, because there is so much discrimination that it might affect the children instead of openly opposing discrimination, – that affects me. When I read how many kids are homeless, because their parents have kicked them out and they had nowhere to go, how many people die a little more each day, because of the way others cut them down every single day, when I see how many people have given up and taken their own lives – that breaks me.

So, I must agree. Words matter. My friend was not overreacting. She is my hero and I have met so many wonderful and open and strong and loving and accepting people in this community.

It is an incredible source of strength to know all these people who accept and love me for who I am, even if they might have never met me. Yet. Always remember that what you are doing matters.

The words you say and the way you act matters. You matter and you are changing this world into a better one every single day. Thank you.

You have no idea how much it touches me and just how very grateful I am to know you!!! ❤

 

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 !!! GIVEAWAY !!!

Thank you for reading my post! This issue is very close to my heart and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Anyone who comments on this post, Dana’s postBethany’s post or D.T. Peterson’s post will be entered to win one of 5 eBook copies of the M/M Romance novel “The Cove” by D.T. Person.

His debut novel is inspired by a very special and tender relationship he had. He wants to show readers that a man falling in love with another man is as normal as any other relationship. Just one of the many choices and paths life has to offer. It’s a reflection on his youth and the “What If“s of life and he would like to share his story with you. So much so that he has not only sponsored 5 copies of the book for 5 lucky winners, but also priced the book $0.67 for 314 pages, so everyone could afford to buy it and read the message of love and acceptance he wants to share.BUY “THE COVE” BY D.T. PETERSON @ AMAZON

Leave a comment on this post by May 27th, 11:59 pm CDT to enter this Giveaway.

You must be 18 years or older to enter this giveaway, void where prohibited, etc.

Please also follow our blog, we would love to share our reviews of LGBT books, interviews with LGBT authors, Giveaways and much more with you.

CONTINUE THIS HOP! 

Love, Marc & The Rainbow Gold Review Team ❤ // ]]>

102 thoughts on “Marc: “Words Matter!!!” (Blog Hop Against Homophobia And Transphobia with Giveaway)

  1. Wonderful post and you are so very right. Words matter and if show are kids we’re nonjudgmental they’ll have a better chance of growing up with the same attitude. My parents were in the habit of pulling me up every time my words showed even the smallest sign of discrimination against anything or anybody and only last weekend I got the prove that I managed to raise an unbiased daughter (I always suspected as much but it was rewarding to have it confirmed. A great message that can’t be read and learned by enough people.

    (please keep me out of the draw. I already have the book and want it to go to someone who doesn’t.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for reading this post. I’m glad you raised your daughter to be an open-minded and accepting person and passed along what your parents taught you. It makes me proud to count you among my friends.

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  3. I grew up in a very old fashioned and strict household. Where Jews are traitors, “negers” are dirty, gays are pedos, women are not meant to study. As I didn’t meet any black, homosexuals nor Jews in real life, I nodded and accepted it. It was only when I grew up and met them, I realized that even grown ups are wrong. I admit I was first skeptical and worried against each individual but i learned to be always polite, so I learned to listen. Only when you question the ‘answers’ you learn to ask the questions. Now I can count a Muslim girl as my best friend since 14 years, my Afroam. buddy and 3 lesbians as one of the best things that ever happened to me. Maybe it’s only fear of new… that leads people to deny those who bring the change in their ‘solid’ fundament.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you opened yourself enough to listen and learn and have managed to broaden your horizont because of it!Acceptance like that, especially self-taught and hard-fought warms my heart. Thank you for sharing your story! ❤

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  4. i have already read the cove and it is a fantastic book that had me in tears all through the ending. my 18 year old son recently told me that he doesnt care what gender the person is, if he likes them, then he will date them. my heart about burst with his words. i was and am so proud to know that he thinks that way. love knows no gender! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • It is great that your son grew up in a home where he was taught that any love is worthy and knew he could always come to you and be honest. Knowing that our parents stand behind us no matter what is very important. He is lucky to have you as a mother and you are lucky to have such a wonderful son as well. He seems like a great guy ❤

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      • I dont need to be entered into the contest, as I already own the book. Just wanted to comment on your lovely story. Vicki.

        Sent from Samsung Mobile

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Excellent post and great message. About eleven years ago, my daughter came to me with her best friend in tow. Joey was about twelve at the time, realized he was gay and was terrified. So scared to tell his mother and especially his dad. Same with friends. I was always honest with my kids, whether good or bad, and they’re friends seemed to do the same thing. I’m glad the boy felt comfortable enough to come out to me. There were many times he went through things in high school, and it was horrible that such cruelty does exist, it was hard to watch it. I made plenty of calls to the school about it on his behalf, just because someone had to speak up for him. Now, he’s twenty three years old and lives his own life. He did finally tell his mom and thank goodness she accepted it and kept on loving him. I don’t know what happened with the dad. I do know that Joey lives with his boyfriend, and works in catering.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you for supporting him. It is great to hear that you made your home such an accepting and safe place that others were drawn to it and felt like they could trust you. I’m sure your support meant the world to him and it is great that you stood up for him, so that bullying did not go without consequences and he knew the other kids were doing something wrong, not him! ❤

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  6. great post, truly wonderful woman.

    I had a moment when my son was in kindy he told me one afternoon that he was going to marry his best mate (a boy), just made an off hand comment. I nodded, told him if that’s what he wanted, go for it, and that was it.
    later I talked to that friend and mother of the boy and she told me he said the same thing, and she sat him down and told him that marriage was only for a man and a woman and that he couldn’t marry his best mate.
    I found it funny that her beliefs and the hate for homosexuals (that she got from her family) had her reacting that way to 6 year olds saying something.

    I believe as we have become closer friends she’s learnt to accept the facts, tho her religion still holds her, but I have never hidden that I write MM and she has read a few of my story and I’m starting to see the difference just a little uncaring on my part and openness leads to her realising how fucked up those are who tell you what they believe the bible’s message is.

    I always tell me kids they can love who they want to love and be who they want to be, even if that’s dressing in drag and going on Broadway. I will love them and I will support them. and I truly hope that my voice settles deeper than what telly brainwashes them to think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is great to hear that you teach your son that it is okay to be and love whoever he wants.

      I’m catholic, but I don’t agree with many thinks the church says and does. That does not influence my personal relationship with god, but I believe that many people use religion as a way to spread their own hatred in the world. If a devil really exists, he would surely try to influence people in a way that they commit heineous crimes and act and speak in hate, beliefing they are acting in god’s will. Blind belief is dangerous and very hard to fight against, because it is easy to use it as a shield against any arguments that would try to deter them from their belief. I think if we touch people personally with love and a message of acceptance it is possible to change their hearts and make the world a better place. Thank you.

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  7. Excellent post, Marc. As someone who was disowned by my entire family when I came out, it’s good to know there are families out there who accept their LBGT sons/daughters etc, and who are teaching their children that love is love, no matter the sexuality. Hopefully one day we won’t need causes like International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, because it won’t be an issue for anyone. Until then, it’s great to see so many fighting for equal rights and acceptance.

    Liked by 3 people

    • It is heartbreaking that you had to live through that. It takes so much courage to come out in a world that is unfortunately not yet very open and accepting. Our parents are the once we are supposed to be able to trust, the once who should tell us we are perfect just the way we are. The once to always support us, no matter what happens. I hope you surround yourself with a new family. A family of friends you have chosen and who support and love you just the way you are. !!!

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  8. Nice post. I agree with you about the importance of instilling fairness and tolerance into children from an early age. I disagree, however, about “adoption rights.” No one should be discriminated against adopting for being LGBT, but no one has the right to anyone else’s child. With all of the coerced adoptions, falsified paperwork, and efforts to disenfranchise single/young/poor parents into giving up their children for adoption, the LGBT community must be extremely careful not to profit from marginalizing another population. Google “Baby Scoop Era” to see what I mean.

    That said, I hope that every family will teach children how to grow up in love and acceptance.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I would never want to rip a child from the arms of his/her mother. However, there are so many children without homes, sent from one ‘temporary’ family to the next or growing up without anyone ever interested in giving them a loving home. It makes me sad that as a committed gay couple, it would be so hard to open our home to a child someday, just because we are a same-sex couple…

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  9. Your words and your story touched me very much. It is indeed what we teach our children by our own example that sticks with them. It takes a lot to go against the values you were raised with. Which is why I believe every generation is that much more enlightened, as more people stop living in the dark ages and actually think for themselves. Ignorance can be overcome, but it takes an effort, and it involves allowing people to see homosexuality as normal and not an aberration.

    William Shakespeare once said, Love looks not with the eye, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. How true, how true. Love sees the inner person, and that is what counts. Two hearts and minds in sync, not body parts and how they align. Someday I hope to see a time when couples can kiss without fear of being shunned, no matter who they are, and when people will see gay people as simply other people. Once you stop seeing the differences, you’ll discover we’re all the same inside.

    Thank you for telling your story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is a beautiful quote! I love that we are slowly seeing a positive change, but it also shocks me to still see so much hate in the world in places like Russia, Uganda and everywhere. But everytime I hear about someone who stands up against injustice and doesn’t let it go. it makes me happy and feeds my hope for a better tomorrow!!! 🙂

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  10. Thanks for sharing Marc. It’s nice to see that so many more parents are raising children to be accepting. My teenage daughter has grown up with gay family, including a cousin her age who has two moms, so it has always been a natural thing for her to see. When she comments on how she can’t understand why people care if someone else is gay I am glad to see that she is not afraid to express her feelings on the subject, even when it is to one of her friends who are making the offensive comments.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is great that she has the courage to stand up, even against her own friends. I think that if all the people who don’t agree with discrimination and hateful comments would speak out against them, the world would be a better place!

      Liked by 1 person

    • *hugs back* children hear and see more than many people realize and their parents are their most important role models. It makes me happy that I see more and more children’s book that teach that a Mommy can love a Mommy and a daddy can love a daddy ❤

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  11. Great post, Marc 🙂 I posted on a similar subject. I truly believe those little moments where we can speak up against microaggressions are opportunities to change the world – one tiny step at a time. It is difficult sometimes to speak up, but it is so important. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • It can be difficult and sometimes it feels like reacting to such a moment would be over-reacting, but children pick up on the tiniest thing and it can stick and grow and change them. I think these ‘small’ moments are really important as well. ❤

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  12. You are a remarkable young man Marc. This is a brilliant post, well done. You are right, our kids come into this world and only learn what we show them. It’s down to us to teach them that it’s ok to be different. Some adults will never change, but the kids can and will bring about a different future.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much!!! And I really think that children can change the world! We need to teach, discuss and be good examples and children will remember! The will grow up into great and enlightened people who can teach their own children and friends.

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  13. What a wonderful woman. I often wish I had a bit more backbone. I have stood up to my husband on occasion but I haven’t really done it with the in laws. *sigh* they are awful! But hubby and I have come to an understanding. He knows if either of our kids came out as bisexual, gay, or whatever, I would be there for them. When they were little and we discussed this and he objected I had to flat out tell him if he had trouble with it I would side with my child! I won’t tolerate it! I’m working on the in laws. They aren’t allowed to use certain language around me or I leave/they leave, depending on where we are. Since at the time they were staying with us, I have never heard they language again. Now they edge around it but don’t outright talk about it since we will NEVER see eye to eye on this. I am so sorry there are so many idiots out there that are like this. NO ONE should ever act like this and families that kick out their child for being gay, transgender, bi or whatever make no sense to me at all. (((hugs))) and lots of ❤ to you Marc and everyone here.

    Tj

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is difficult to stand up against intolerance, but even if you can’t change the way your in-laws think and it’s difficult to change your husband’s mind, with every time you make sure that your home is a safe environment for your kid, whoever they choose to love you are changing the world a bit. ❤ I want you to know it is appreciated!!!!!!

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  14. What a great post! You are absolutely correct on saying that words matter. Everyone is effected in some way by our words. The graphic was awesome as well by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I can’t take credit for the graphic, but it was shared with me on Twitter and I really think it might help people to know how to respond to words of hatred and intolerance! ❤

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  15. What a moving and touching post! Even though we hear almost ever week that a State is turning over the Gay-marriage Ban. We still have a long way to go.
    People just don’t realize that a comment or phrase that they say can truly hurt someone feelings and set the movement back.

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    • I absolutely agree. The fact that some ppl stay praying for the ban on same sex marriage to pass instead of fighting against war, intolerance and hate shows that there is a rocky road still ahead, but it is great to know that they don’t have the full support of the general public!!!

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  16. Exactly how I’m trying to raise my two. I think it’s working as my daughter felt comfortable enough to come out to me last year. She’s 12 now.
    It’s also working as my husband is accepting after meeting many of my friends and really getting to know them.
    Education works!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It really does. It is hard to hate, when you know someone personally and realize the person is good and nice and full of love. I’m glad your daughter felt so comfortable and knew her heart so well at such an early age. Truly astonishing. And now she has to parents who stand behind her. Thank you for sharing! All these wonderful responses make me truly happy 😉

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    • I’m glad you found a way to accept yourself. It was a long journey for me as well, but as soon as I dealt with my feelings and accepted myself, it gave me the strength to come out to my family and friends! This mother day I called my mom from my Boyfriend’S and at the end of the call I told her I loved her and she told me she loved the two of us 🙂 My boyfriend is now a complete part of our family. It made me so happy to hear her say that!!!

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    • That is true. Words carelessly thrown out often hurt the words as they cut us unexpectedly. It is important to think about the power and consequences of our words 😉

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    • Thank you, Rod!!! I’m glad that you have found friends and family that support and love you as well. You are such a wonderful person and I’m glad to know you ❤

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  17. It’s so true that words can hurt more actual wounds sometimes. I try in my everyday life to stand up to people using hateful language or expressing their hateful beliefs. I work with a lot of young boys (14-18 usually) who like to use the word ‘gay’ for ‘fag’ as if there’s nothing wrong with it. I constantly tell them we don’t use that word around me because it’s offensive and it hurts my feelings, and after a few reminders, I see them thinking about what they are saying before they say it. They catch themselves before they say a word that is offensive, and if they hear someone else say it, they’ll say ‘don’t say that around Mo’ (which is what they call me. It may or may not make them think twice about saying it outside of work, but I like to think that as long as it’s making them think about what they are saying. The first time I tell them that, they say “but it’s just a word. It doesn’t mean anything” and I say “okay, if you were to replace that word with another word, what would you use?” so then instead of saying ‘that’s gay’ they say “that’s dumb, stupid, retarded,” or any other derogatory term like that. Then I have to remind them that if you are using a term like that as a replacement for another derogatory term, it’s only spreading hate. It’s like saying you think that being gay is bad, when in fact, it’s just the way they were born.

    It’s sparked a lot of great debates and I know I’ve changed some minds. I raise my son the same way. He knows better than to say mean things about anyone and we’ve had a lot of discussions about bullying and loving people for who they are. I may not be making a huge difference in the world as a whole, but I do what I can to make a difference in the world around me.

    What a great post Marc ❤ If you are talking about the friend I think you're talking about, she is a wonderful person and a great mother 🙂 She really is one of the special ones!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your answer and everything you are doing. I think making people think about what they say instead of just using it as they have seen others use it is the best thing you can do. If people question what others do and say instead of blindly following it that makes a huge difference. Hatred only has power as long as people give power to it and follow the bad example of those who are filled with darkness. Someone uses a word like ‘fag’ and uses it to hurt someone else, other follow the example and the word gets more and more power until it destroys lives. The word is designed to bring a negative connotation to people who are gay and it works on the unconscious. It may look harmless or be used without malice, but it is in fact not harmless. The more people stop to mindlessly mimic others and think for themselves the better a world we will life in ❤

      And yes, I believe we might be talking about the same friend and she is. And you are as well. *hugs*

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  18. Amazing post, Marc!!! Thank you for this! I grew up in the South and it never ceases to amaze me the amount of homophobia and racism that still exists, both there and in the rest of the country. My own son who is 17 now, came out to me several years ago and I’m so proud of him. I’m so happy that you have the support of your family and friends. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m very glad he knew he could be honest with you and didn’t need to be ashamed. It’s not easy for me to understand how people who otherwise seem perfectly nice can carry so much hatred for people they don’t even know or even those whom they professed to love no matter what. It breaks my heart, but there are many awesome people like you in the world as well, you are shining lights in a sea of darkness and show that not all is lost. It get’s brighter with every returning morning ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I have the book, so I don’t need to be entered. I just wanted to say that I loved this post. It gave me goosebumps. I actually posted something about words mattering on Facebook not so long ago. It is so true and a something most people don’t think about. Every action and every word can uplift or break down. I don’t think people get that their flippancy can cut. Thank you for this. xo

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    • Thank you for taking the time to respond. It makes me very happy that you liked the post. Words can cut us down and hurt so much, but they can also build us up and give courage, love and acceptance. I’m so happy to know many great authors like you who touch their readers with messages of love and hope and give strength to those who need it! It was a book of this genre in fact that gave me the courage to come out, because it created such a deep longing for a meaningful connection like those I read about and I felt I could no longer continue to close myself off against experiencing the freedom of being true to myself! 😉

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    • I hope so, too- It made me very happy to see Conchita Wurst win the biggest singing competition in the world! I do think our hopes are not misplaced, but we have a long way yet to go!

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  20. No child is born “hating” anything – it is a learned behavior taught by the ignorant to the innocent. No one of any moral fiber or integrity would hand a 4 year old a gun and let them shoot a random people, but no one seems to have any trouble pointing out and shaming certain aspects of homo sapiens that characterize our unique differences. You can’t legislate love, just as you can’t control the wind. I do believe however that if you harness the power of love and the strength of compassion, there is no obstacle that can stand.
    I was raised to believe that just as there are stars in the nighttime sky, so are there people on this earth. We each have our differences, but without them we’d not be as beautiful. Only the unschooled and inattentive would claim all stars are alike, but even they can’t deny how beautiful those sparking lights are against the drama of open space.
    Discrimination of any kind limits the potential of our species, and when challenged by limitation, we can and do often rise to become better than even we thought possible. It is past time for the human race to grow up and grow past self-imposed hatreds. I double-dog dare us to try!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Thank you for sharing this wonderful post. It took me many years to realize that everyone was not raised, as I was, in a home where prejudice was not tolerated, and I thank my parents for teaching me that everyone deserves love and acceptance.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I must admit I am still shocked sometimes about the personal experiences others had. I’m very, very lucky and grateful 😉 Thank you for taking the time to respond, I am glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Pingback: Why my kids won’t learn hate. HAHAT | Rainbow Gold Reviews

    • Thank you for sharing this post on your blog! I think the small thinks everyone can do can be some of the most powerful, because if a lot of people make small changes it becomes a big change 🙂

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  23. This is such a fantastic post! I applaud your friend and am trying to raise my daughters with those same values. A few years ago one of my pre-teen daughters came home discussing her peers’ opinions on a boy they suspected of being gay, and I was very disappointed. She was starting to be influenced by their homophobic views, shared with me what they told her was “right,” and questioned why we would teach her it’s okay when obviously everyone else thinks it’s not? So much of what people think and believe begins at home, but just because you know you’ve done your best to raise your kids to not judge and accept everyone equally doesn’t mean it ends there. Changing the way society thinks, feels and acts is ongoing, and for us making sure our kids continue to accept is as well.

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    • Thank you for taking the time to respond. I agree, there is widespread discrimination and others will always influence people. But there can also be the influence of those who share a message of hope and acceptance. That is why I had to include the chart that someone shared with me on Twitter. I felt it covered all bases and discussing with your children the way issues like this are talked about at school or elsewhere and knowing how to respond and dismantle the words of hatred used as weapons by others will slowly continue to make this world better. I think it is important that you raised your daughter in a way that she knew she could talk to you, even when her friends showed her different points of views. She trusted you enough to come to you with her questions and doubts. That is very important and gave you the change to further educate her about the issue. I think listening to children and taking their concerns serious is always important ❤

      Like

  24. This is Sheila and My husband and I agree on a lot of issues now but this was not always the way. I believe in the tenet that God don’t make no junk and you love who you love and Gof does not make mistakes. I have a friend who is blessed my words and not her’s to have two gay sons. She has not mentored these boys and they were molested when young and this created some major issues with both of them. I just throb with the need to make it better knowing that the one I do know has more issues than I can fix. So all I can do is be there listen and just love him. I am in poor health and I know that he will go on but I just wish he could get out of himself and get his HEA. I just want everyone to have the HEA I have and be able to have peace. I am straight white women, have been married for almost 32 years to my soul mate. He completes me and is the better 1/2 of me. God gave me the best. He was raised by a prejudice father but with our love and the introduction to some of my gay friends he was able to see they were just like other people and not contagiousd. He esp liked my friend Morgan. We also grew up in the names will never hurt me. Yeah right only if you had a strong back up of friends which I was lucky to have. I raised my children that prejudice has no place in your life and they watched me give and pay it forward all my life. I have loved my life for the most part and wish I had started earlier but I have always been a giver in one capacity or another and I have held our friends to the same standard. It does not need to be money friends it can be in a card with words.Something for someone to depend on that needs it. Just give and thank you all of you who share your lives with us who need to know that our work is not done yet. Embrace difference it will not hurt you. Hugs and love to all Sheila
    .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Sheila. It is terrible what happened to those boys and they are lucky to have you to talk to and listen, but such a dramatic experience must be very difficult to overcome. It is great that you are able to make your home into one of love and acceptance and pass on your values to your family. Giving friendship and love is very important and I am very grateful for people like you, who help to make this world a better place.

      Like

  25. That is an important message to everyone Marc, and a reminder to all of us who support equal rights for all. Thank you for sharing that from your personal perspective.

    I won’t go into too long of a story, but the corporation that I work for has always been very anti-discrimination and sensitive to anything that could be offensive. I was dismayed when a memo circulated using a phrase that could be considered incredibly insensitive and hurtful to an LGBTQ person. I knew it wasn’t intentional, but after simmering over it for a couple days, I wrote an email to my supervisor, not sure what sort of a response it would receive, or if it would even matter to them.

    I saw her a couple days later, and she said my email had gone viral within the company. I wasn’t sure what she meant. She said it was a good thing, that she was glad I wrote it. It turns out that our VP of Sales and Marketing is out and proud and was mortified that this memo had been circulated without his knowledge.

    The only downside to this story? The amount of people within the company who had to ask what the ‘Q’ stood for. Smart, educated professionals. Unfortunately, awareness still has a ways to go.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing, Morticia! I am glad that the company you work for is usually very anti-discriminatory. Even if it was not meant to be hurtful, it is great that you wrote to them so they could fix their wording to be more inclusive. The fact that your email went viral might have made even more people think about the words they use and how they could be conceived.

      I must say, though, that I personally use GLBT/LGBT most often. LGBTQ or LGBTQA can have different meanings where Q ranges from Queer to Questioning and A ranges from A-Sexual to Ally. I absolutely understand why that can be confusing and even that is not yet a complete list.

      For me, I would either use a word that encompasses everyone or the most common and recognizable one that represents the whole Spectrum, even while not specifically mentioning every variation.

      LGBTQQIAAP:
      Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Allies and Pansexual.

      Lesbian – Women that are only attracted to women.

      Gay – Men that are only attracted to men. Gay can also be used to describe homosexual men and women.

      Bisexual – A person that is attracted to both sexes.

      Transgendered – A person that has/is transitioning to the opposite sex, as they were born as the wrong sex/in the wrong body. (Female to male. Male to female).

      Queer – A person that does not want to label themselves as, e.g. Lesbian, so they call themselves queer instead.

      Questioning – Someone that is questioning their sexual orientation, unsure which gender/s they are attracted to.

      Intersex – A hermaphrodite.

      Asexual – A person that isn’t sexually attracted to either gender.

      Allies – A straight person that supports the LGBT(QQIAAP) community.

      Pansexual – A person that is attracted to a person because of their personality. They do not care what gender they date, they care about what is on the inside.

      All of these make up LGBTQQIAAP.

      Like

  26. Pingback: Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia | ScuttlebuttReviews

  27. Pingback: D.T. Peterson Against Homophobia and Transphobia (Hop Post with Giveaway) | Rainbow Gold Reviews

  28. Loved this post. It’s so true that both bigotry and acceptance are learned. No one is born hating people of a different race, religion or sexuality. When I was a child my parents who are white openly supported civil rights in the 60’s. A very unpopular mindset. We frequently went to the inner city to our churches sister church even when our regular church was within a half a blocks walk. My parents wanted my brother and I to see black people as people and also to know how it felt when the shoe was on the other foot and we were the only white kids/people in the room instead of the other kids being the only black kids in the room at school and such. It amazes me that it wasn’t until 3rd grade that an African American face shows up in my class pictures.

    I am a lesbian and must hide my identity at work. I’m an educator and it would simply be too hard to win over parent backing which is needed for my students education. I am lucky that at home with my family tolerance is the norm and I never had to feel belittled or face hate from them or my friends. It hurts to know that kids are being taught to hate or fear because of color and beliefs. My kids at school are small and when we talk about MLK it always shocks them when I ask them if I’m a white person and they say no and I say yes I am. They think I can’t possibly be white because I am not horrid and mean and full of hate which equals a bad scary person. They don’t see my light skin. They see the person I am and how I treat them. Their fear is 100% learned. I am a good person therefore I can’t be white.

    Okay long ramble but it just makes me so upset when I see gay bashing. My wife and I have a large circle of friends and family who love us regardless. I was taught acceptance and I teach it every time I can, be it at work or on my blog. Thanks for a great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am glad that your family taught you acceptance and love and support you. It is wonderful that you found a great wife.

      It is sad that there is so much fear and hate in the world, but educating people is very important. Giving them the choice to think for themselves, once they have all the info at hand. Though it is very hard to override prejudices and fear that have been planted in the heart of people…

      Like

    • Yes, even with all the bad things in the world, when I see people like that who bring love and light into the world, I realize that there is also so much hope and it makes me very happy 🙂

      Like

  29. Pingback: Gay kisses on TV, why reading is important, and my stance against homophobia and transphobia. (HAHAT) | Rainbow Gold Reviews

  30. “The words you say and the way you act matters. You matter and you are changing this world into a better one every single day.” I believe in this entirely. Probably, that’s why I joined this blog hop to speak up for a right cause.

    Followed your blog too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for taking the time to comment and follow our blog ❤ I'm glad you agree with the words. People often have more power to change things than they realize 🙂

      Like

  31. I playing catch up as I been on a weird middle 3 a.m. shift and dropping for a nap at 1 p.m. as soon as I get home.
    What a wonderful post! Every word, and following comment just makes me want to scream, but I have hope for a much better world each and everyday. It breaks my heart every single time I’ve witnessed intolerance or hear of it. I’m one of those that have never remained silent, I won’t. I wasn’t raised that way, and I never raised my now adult children that way either. I know that I’ve alienated a best friend and SIL because I won’t tolerate the bigotry against my LGBT friends, and I’m good with that. My DH feels the same. We’ve really embrace that your family is what you make of it, and it is NOT always blood….and we are most definitely great with that as well…:)
    Darcy
    pomma @akwolf.com

    Like

  32. Hi,
    First of all I have to tell you, reading this blog was so wonderful to me.
    Even I made some mistakes, and Marc, you know I am sorry for that, I can see i did not to bad. I growled up also very open minded and I can’t understand and I can’t except people with no respect !!
    I think respect for everything and everyone is what we need to understand ! But also Knowledge is very important . A lot of people don’t know that their acting or talking huts people’s feelings !
    I live now for some years in China, Shenyang and I can tell, a lot of people “only don’t know better” !
    Here I got to know the feelings (not only to be to heavy and not so pretty ) to be different !! People here always take Photos of us hiding it or with them self on it, like I did in a zoo ! Now I feel more sorry for people being other to other’s ! Here I have to start from the beginning to teach people here and sometimes I feel so tired and sad !
    But now, with reading the blog of my wonderful son, I know it is good to do. I don’t want to give up !
    Standing up against rassismus in any kind of life is not easy , but now I know we have to .
    Sorry to say, but there is a long way also this day’s !
    I am so sad, that people can’t life their life’s because of rassismus !!!
    But to all of you, don’t give up, don’t be to sad, in our world are a lot of nice people, open your eyes and look at them !!
    Marc you are one of the nice people and I am very proud to be your Mother !! I have learned a lot from you and I am still learning, make my mind more open for things going on also in our “today’s open world” ! We are here left to tell !!!
    Sorry, my English is not so good, but reading all your articles, I had to share my words !
    Thank you all for those kind words about Marc, it made myself more proud of him !
    And I am sure, I now will stand up more times than before with all the words of you in my mind !!! God bless you all !!!

    Like

  33. “The words you say and the way you act matters.”

    We have similar feelings on word and actions. It’s great to find someone else out there!

    I especially like the sinful chart. Thanks for sharing and taking part in the hop!

    Have a great weekend!

    skeeterlee63 @ gmail.com

    Like

  34. So true Marc … words … whether said intentionally or not … the phrasing says it. I warn people once in my home & were I work … I don’t tolerate inequality … and I call them on it immediately & throw them out of my home the second time. I am a hard liner about discrimination … and I’m honored that my daughters & grand daughters react the same way. I do not condone or allow poison to be around me. And, no, I don’t miss those people! Thank you for a beautiful post Marc & yes, we stand shoulder to shoulder with you. Love from Alaska

    Like

  35. I think you should be able to love and marry who you want. Love is love and not everybody finds it.
    sstrode at scrtc dot com

    Like

  36. Pingback: Teodora Kostova: “People are not dough that can be easily shaped with the cookie cutter.” HAHAT | Rainbow Gold Reviews

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